:)

May 1st, 2021. Alas, I've succumb to the peer-pressure and made a neocities. I suppose it's like an anonomous diary. Ya know, In the same way that writing on the walls of a bathroom stall with a marker is. It's kind of fun being able to just write without expectation while still remaining public, but at the same time It's kinda creepy >_>. Oh well, who even cares.

May 4th, 2021. You know, it's that portion of the day where I feel like a bag of rasins or prunes, It's a weird thing to say, but one of my favorite things is the simile. You know what, just let me talk about simile for a minute. I fucking love these things, there is nothing more satisfying than the simplicity behind comparing two things, especially whensthey're uncongruent. I fuckin love when I can go "that dog's like pudding" or some dumb shit like that.It's the most blissful metaphorical device around!! Otherwise, it's starting to get nice outside.

May 7th, 2021. Recently I've had a pretty okay last few days, Nothing specifically new has happened but that's really never what this blog is about. I've been drawing a lot recently although it doesn't really show. I have the feeling that the envy I feel towards other artists is less and less over their technical skill and just the pure Jazz that their pieces have. I don't know how to make my art have my personality beyond just doing it; People always tell me that I have an artstyle but I just can't identify it myself, you know? Maybe I'm just burning out again, but that always happens I suppose. Keeping a commitment with anything other than drawing is hard for me, I guess. Doing little doodles makes me feel happy though, and so does logging my raw thoughts, even though I'm personally not the type to reminice. I did a little art trade with someone and seeing how they drew my character really made me happy, even though I couldn't give them something as clean as theirs was.

I'm having a pretty okay time recently, although I'm still really worried about the future. I've never really been a 'people person' for long periods of times, really just being myself and hoping people like it is all I can do. I hope that's enough :)

May 18th, 2021. I messed up my wrist a little bit ago and that's really been aching for a good week now; It sucks. I've been kind of low about my drawings recently, because even though I make my silly little drawings I just don't enjoy looking at them as much as I enjoy making them. I felt real pride in my work over a simple throw-away painting I did a while ago, but making anything that I consider "good" feels like an infinite task. Am I not just pushing the boulder up the hill for it to roll back down in the morning? I've been feeling lonely, which never happens. Maybe there's just this strange hole that I'm desperate to fill, and maybe I haven't found what to fill it with yet. I really do love to make things, but I love when people see them and feel the same joy that I feel towards the creation of the piece. I like people, and I try to like myself too. I'd rate my time recently as a solid 4.5/10